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Mingerella: Cinderella meets Shrek

Not so much a reworking of the classic panto story, as giving it a good 'working over'.

It's not the sisters who are ugly, they're rather attractive, it's Mingerella who has a face that could curdle milk. Unfortunately she's read too many Fairy Tales and believes it's her destiny to meet a handsome Prince Charming… fortunately, there's someone out there for everyone, cue Prince Charminger (eventually).

This is a tale of misbegotten love, and while beauty may only be skin deep, when a girl's gotta hide like a rhino, get ready to experience a beauty that's really thick.

The moral of the tale is that you can judge a book by it's cover… everyone knows that the shortest time interval known to man is the time it takes someone to jump to the wrong conclusion…



Brain Reign
or The Reign of the Brain

Known North of the border as 'Monarch of d'ye ken?'

This quiz show is deceptively simple in it's premise. All the contestants work to build a prize fund jointly, but only the person on the throne when all the questions.

One person will reign supreme, but they have 'advisors'. The advisors job is to sway the King or Queen into believing that they have the answers… and once they have the ear of the King or Queen they can influence the way the game goes. That's OK if the advisor is genuine; if not, a foolish monarch and their treasure are soon parted. *Think Theoden and Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings, or Blair and Campbell*

The Prize Hierarchy: weekly/series

Given that an Englishman's home is his castle, and that the monarch lives in a palace, the prize each week is that the winner is moved up one Council Tax band in their area moving towards the 'palace'.

The palace would be purpose built for the eventual series winner, and given the celebrity that exposure on the show has given them, they'd undoubtedly be the subject of a Grand Designs style documentary (and thereby the channel recoups their investment).


Leaving it all to Chance

Our protagonist Chance is an American teenager from a modest background who discovers belatedly that his 'Dad' is not his real father. 'Father' is a British aristocrat who is loaded.

Having never heard of him, let alone met him, Chance is shocked to hear that his 'Father' has died in a freak accident leaving his entire estate to Chance - on the premise that Chance take the 'family' name, live in England and manage the 'family' estate.

Given the title (of the programme, not of the estate) Chance does exactly that, and leaves it all to chance… he doesn't have a schedule and now being wealthy enough to do exactly as he pleases, he cruises along. Realising that 'choice is stress' he makes one decision, to avoid them. He delegates all responsibility to his Father's servants who resent the boy. *Think Ferris Bueller's Day Off meets that episode in The Simpsons when Mr. Burns adopts Bart*

So we set the scene for a cross-cultural comedy of errors with a poignant overtone as Chance discovers more about his biological Father, whilst starting to appreciate his American Dad (whom he took for-granted) more and more.

My wife informs me that I've rather neatly reworked Little Lord Fauntleroy - there's the advantage of her private education. Me? As Ian Dury might have 'had it': Billericay Dicky Comprehensive.

© jackade aka Glenn Platt 2003-2005
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